


Five barely functioning people start a group chat...

by YourConsentingMind



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Benrey was possessed au, Chatting & Messaging, Gen, Half-Life VR But the AI is Self-Aware, Hospitalization, M/M, Not A Game AU, Oh also, Out of Character, Post-Canon, also benrey retains his sick ass powers bc hes still an alien basically, also every member of the science team except 4 gordon knew each other b4 the rescas, also gonna tag, also no beta we die like the military, benrey has amnesia as in he doesnt really remember anything from when he was possessed, benrey may be an eldritch being but even eldritch beings can be possessed, chatfic, darnold also doesn't appear himself in the fic probably, except for black mesa sweet voice (tm) thats just a regular benrey thing, he/they benrey, hlvrai au, i cannot believe theres not a single chatfic i must fix this, i do not know how to write children so im just gonna. not, im sorry to everyone who is hoping for joshua he isnt here, no but seriously this fic is 100 percent self indulgent. target audience is me shxjd, probably, rated T for swearing and kind of dark themes like hospitalization, so that regular half life folk can filter this fic out if they want, this is my first fic in the fandom i hope yall dont have high expectations for my dumb booty, trauma. everyone's got it F, uh what else to tag this as, usually by bigger more powerful eldritch beings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:06:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29755914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourConsentingMind/pseuds/YourConsentingMind
Summary: After the Resonance Cascade and whatever happened in Black Mesa, Gordon and the Science Team make their way out, only to stumble into a situation much bigger than the previous. Brought to an alien world to fix the problem caused by the Cascade, the group discovers there was more to their friend Benrey, who Gordon took a particular dislike to, than they first had expected.At least that was until after his defeat, after which Gordon and his friends learned that Benrey had been a puppet the whole time, having been possessed since the start of their journey.The Science Team, who never leave one of their own behind (well, most of the time), bring an unconscious Benrey back with them to their own world. Things returned to normal for most people. Even Black Mesa began rebuilding, though none of the team were interested in picking up their positions again after what had happened.The group decides to move on from Black Mesa and stay as close-knit as they had become during their travels. And so they all move into about the same area.Benrey had been brought to the nearest hospital ASAP after their return, and was now laying hospitalized there, while the others figured out what to do next.
Relationships: Benrey & Tommy Coolatta, Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Bubby & Tommy Coolatta & Dr. Coomer & Gordon Freeman, Bubby/Dr. Coomer (Half-Life), Gordan Freeman & The Science Team
Comments: 54
Kudos: 70





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Minor edit: BRUH this fic has been up for like 10 hours at most how the hell does this already have so many kudos and comments (not that im complaining it helps the motivation!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gordon creates a group chat. Havok ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi yes I love writing depressing/semi-depressing fics for self indulgent reasons  
> The first few chapters are kind of dark but i promise it will get happier when i can get myself to push to that point
> 
> also its not a full on chatfic, theres also lots of regular fic bits. AT LEAST thats what im hoping to write i never know if ill actually manage something im planning dfvbdfhg  
> ALSO ALSO if any of my medical terms in this fic do not make sense keep in mind that i probably took all of these terms from german and translated them so they might not be the exact term

_8:47 AM_

_Gordon Freeman has added Bubby, Harold Coomer and Tommy Coolatta to The Science Team Hideout._

_Gordon Freeman has given Bubby admin privileges._

_Gordon Freeman has given Harold Coomer admin privileges._

_Gordon Freeman has given Tommy Coolatta admin privileges._

_Gordon Freeman has changed their nickname to Gordon._

Harold Coomer: Ah, hello Gordon!

_Harold Coomer has changed their nickname to Dr. Coomer._

_Tommy Coolatta has changed their nickname to Tommy._

Tommy: Hello Mr. Freeman!!

_Bubby has changed the group name to STH._

Gordon: Hey guys.

Gordon: Why STH??

Bubby: It sounds cooler than Science Team Hideout. Sounds more like a secret organization

Tommy: That abbreviation seems familiar but I don't know from where!

Dr. Coomer: Have you heard anything from our friend yet, Gordon?

Gordon: He's in intensive care. They put him in an artificial coma to help the body recover. I'm going to stop by later and see the situation for myself, but from the sound of it, it's not looking too good.

Gordon: The doc said they're trying their best, but they can't make any promises. They don't know how long the coma will have to last for. It depends on how well the lungs and other organs recover.

Gordon: At least he is stable at the moment. They said they're gonna call if his condition changes.

Gordon: I gave the doc your numbers too, in case they can't reach me. Though I doubt that will happen.

Dr. Coomer: Oh dear, that doesn't sound so good..

Bubby: I mean, considering everything that happened at Black Mesa, I'm sure he'll pull through.

Bubby: We're lucky his anatomy isn't distinguishable from a normal human in his current form. Who knows what would've happened otherwise.

Tommy: Mr. Bubby that's kind of insensitive to say in a situation like this!

Tommy: Mr. Freeman, I can come over if you want

Dr. Coomer: I have to agree with Tommy on this one, dear.

Gordon: ..Yes, I'd appreciate it if you could come over, Tommy.

Bubby: Sorry.

Gordon: It's fine. I know what you meant.

Tommy: Ok! I'll be over soon then!

Gordon: Okay, see you then Tommy.

\---

Gordon steps out of the room. Tommy, who had been waiting outside, looks up at the other with a concerned look. He looks back down at Tommy, shaking his head.

Tommy gets up, quickly pulling Gordon into a hug. The other seems very distraught and ready to breakdown, but returns the gesture, trying to keep himself together despite the situation at hand. It was incredibly hard to wrap his head around the whole thing, anyways.

After a few minutes, Gordon lets go, causing Tommy to do the same. Gordon sighs.

"I didn't know what I was expecting to see, but it certainly wasn't..." He hiccups for a moment, swallowing the intense pressure in his throat, about to start sobbing uncontrollably. Breathe in, breathe out. He takes a couple of deep breaths before even trying to continue with his sentence.

Sure, Benrey and him weren't nearly as close as the man was with the rest of the Science Team, though that was probably because they'd known each other for far longer than Gordon had known anyone in the group. And Benrey loved to antagonize him during their journey. At least he thought that was Benrey - now, he wasn't so sure anymore, considering the knowledge he has now.

He remembers a few completely out of place moments in which Benrey seemed genuinely concerned, and it was very out of character for the rest of his actions. Knowing what he does now though, he began to think that was just the "real" Benrey showing. Tommy did always insist on their travels that while Benrey loved poking fun at people, he usually wasn't as mean-spirited and persistent as he was with Gordon, and that he wasn't sure why he acted so different suddenly. The team eventually decided that maybe it was the stress of the situation getting to him.

And Gordon remembers that at the beginning of their journey, while the man absolutely got on his nerves, Benrey wasn't as... evil, as he became later. It wasn't until he briefly lost the team in Black Mesa and met up with them later on the surface that he acted different. Gordon, who didn't know Benrey before the Resonance Cascade incident, unlike the other members of the team, particularly Tommy, didn't take notice of the difference. It was the same old Benrey to him, still acting as mean-spirited as before.

Now he knows that that was not Benrey. At least not most of the time, aside from those rare moments of genuine concern.

Who knew that even eldritch beings can be possessed.

Gordon sighs again.

"He's hooked up on all kinds of machines and tubes. He can't eat for himself obviously, so he needs something for that. He's also hooked on a respirator. The doc said that the lungs do work on their own, but it's quite weak, so they hooked him up on the respirator so the lungs don't have to strain themselves and give it time to recover. His heart isn't working at a hundred percent either, but it's at least doing better than the lungs. The rest of the body seems to be fine. Of course, they won't know if there's any issues with his memory and the like until he wakes up. And that might be a while... He'll have to remain in the artificial coma until his lungs are recovered enough."

Tommy looks down at the floor. Gordon follows.

"...I wish the news was better. I know this has to be harder on you than the rest of us..."

Tommy bites back a sob, shaking his head. "I'd rather have these news than even worse ones, Mr. Freeman." he mutters, looking back up.

Gordon nods.

"We have no choice but to wait out the situation, I suppose." His gaze turns back to the door to the Intensive Care Unit for a moment, before his focus goes back to Tommy. "Come on, let's head home. There's nothing else we can do right now."

Tommy stares at the door for several moments, following after Gordon with tearful eyes. As much as he wishes to do something for his friend right now, he knows there's nothing he can do at the moment. He would just have to remain strong in his stead until he would get better. Tommy refused to even think of the alternative to that.

\---

_5:12 pm_

Gordon: Just dropped Tommy off at his home. I'm on my way home now.

Tommy: Thank you for the ride, Mr. Freeman!

Dr. Coomer: Drive safe, Gordon!

Dr. Coomer: What are the news on Benrey?

Tommy: He's on a respirator. Also has a feeding tube. His lungs are working, but it's quite weak, so the respirator is to help the lungs recover so they don't have to strain. His heart is also not at its best, but it's better than the lungs. Everything else seems fine so far, but they won't know about memory issues and similar things until he is woken up from the artificial coma, and they don't know how long that will be.

Dr. Coomer: Ah.. that doesn't sound too great.

Dr. Coomer: At least his organs didn't completely give out. Dr. Bubby says that is a good sign he will recover!

Tommy: Really?!

Bubby: Yeah

Bubby: While you guys were at the hospital, Harold and I took it upon ourselves to get informed on the topic.

Bubby: If the organs are still working on their own, then he's likely not in a 100% artificial coma and that means he doesn't require the support of machines for most of organs to work. So he will probably recover once the organs are at 100% capacity again.

Gordon: That's good to hear, at least. Gives me hope.

Bubby: That's the reason we looked.

Dr. Coomer: Besides, the doctors are doing their best! All we can do for now is wait.

Gordon: Yeah, I know.

Gordon: Well, I'm going to bed now. Goodnight y'all.

Dr. Coomer: Goodnight Gordon!

Bubby: Goodnight

Tommy: Goodnight, Mr. Freeman!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benrey is brought out of his artificial coma, but things still aren't in the clear yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HLVRAI hyperfixation has possessed me to write another chapter asap  
> Thank you for all the kudos and comments, im rlly happy to see you all enjoying this fic! <3
> 
> once again i have not proofread because i am dumb

Today was going to be a big day, and Gordon wasn't sure how he should prepare for it.

After two weeks of laying in an artificial coma, Benrey was to come out of the coma today. His condition had steadily improved over that time frame and he remained stable through all of it. His lungs hadn't fully recovered, but it was enough to switch from the intubation to a respirator that didn't need to be inside the throat. That way he would not feel uncomfortable or try to rip anything important out. Or well, at least Gordon hoped so - considering Benrey was alien, who knew what was comfortable and not for his kind.

Despite this, the doctors would not know how Benrey might react when he wakes up. They don't know if Benrey would suffer memory loss or any other bodily issues that were not immediately visible on scans, x-rays and similar methods.

They called Gordon early in the morning and said that he can come to visit Benrey shortly after he was brought out of the coma. Gordon, of course, dropped everything else he should be doing and informed the others of the news. Tommy agreed to come along, while Bubby and Coomer said they unfortunately couldn't make it - but they did say they would visit later, after they're done with whatever they needed to do.

So Gordon and Tommy agreed to meet up at the hospital as soon as they could.

The wait felt unbearably long, despite being maybe.. half an hour? Probably even less? It was the anticipation and thousands of thoughts rushing through both of their heads that made the waiting period so much worse than it should've been. All kinds of things could go wrong at this moment. Bringing someone out of a coma is not something that is just done without any kinds of risks or potential complications attached, Gordon and Tommy knew that. They were informed thoroughly since there's nobody else who could sign the papers, considering Benrey had no blood relatives to speak of. Or maybe he did, but wherever they were, it was certainly not on Earth. So Gordon ended up being the one to sign any papers regarding any procedures and its associated risks.

Like everything else in the hospital, the area they spent their time waiting in was impressively sterile. The typical smell people often link to hospitals was strong in the air, and it made Tommy's stomach twist. He'd never really been a fan of hospitals, and he'd certainly hoped all his life he wouldn't need to be at one as often as he has been in recent times. He hopes that, once Benrey recovers and is released from the hospital, he would never have to enter one again. He wasn't really sure if it was the smell or the anxiety of the uncertainty of his friend's fate making him nauseous, but he knew it was certainly not helping the situation. His gaze shifts to some of the wallpapers nearby, finding a notice he could read from where he sat, focusing only on it and reading it over and over again in his head, trying to distract himself from the nausea and stopping his thoughts from wandering to other topics.

It wasn't until he felt Gordon tap his shoulder that he broke that concentration and looked up.

The doctor said that the procedure went through without any hitches, but that it may still be some time until Benrey wakes up. Regardless, the two were allowed to enter the room now to await that. The two gladly did just that.

The room itself was pretty much empty, aside from the machines and the bed Benrey was laying in. There was a window nearby that allowed a look at the outside world. It was a lucky view, showing not the densely populated city around and instead allowing for a more clear view of the nearby forests and river.

Gordon and Tommy sat down in the chairs that were the only other thing in the room, waiting at Benrey's bedside for him to wake up.

\---

Urgh...

His head hurts.

And his throat.

The sound of rhythmic beeps fills his ears. For a few seconds, it is okay, but it soon begins annoying him to no end. The sound is not something he is exactly familiar with. He thinks he's heard it once or twice before, but has no exact memory of where he did. Not that it matters that much, because all that he knows is that it is bugging him **a lot** right now.

Where even is he? His eyelids refuse to cooperate with him, remaining shut still despite his attempts at making them open.

He tries to move, but the rest of his body also decides not to work with him. There's nothing more but a soft twitching from his hand that it musters before giving up.

Ugh, maybe it's only because he just woke up. They'll get around to it in a few moments, surely.

The sound of two voices mix in with the beeps. He can't really tell who they are, or what they are saying. It's kind of blurry, and the mechanical beeps were drowning out the words that spill from the voices. His annoyance only grows, as he'd rather listen to the voices and figure out what they are saying than hearing that blasted sound over and over again.

After a minute or so, he can hear one of the two voices saying his name. Or well, at least he thinks that was his name? The beeping was still quite loud in his ears, but he is able to kind of understand one of the voices.

On his second attempt, he manages to force his eyes to become half-lidded, squinting a bit against the sudden light, but quickly stopping when he feels that costs too much energy. While his eyes adjust to the still blurry surroundings, he makes out two figures hovering on his right, slightly turning his head towards them. He can't tell who they are yet, but he assumes that's where the voices were coming from.

His gaze shifts in front of him, seeing that he was laying in a bed of sorts. As the blur begins disappearing, he notices something on his face. It looks like a mask? There is a tube connected.

Oh, no no no. His mind immediately puts the pieces together. He has to be at Black Mesa. Are the scientists trying to experiment on him again? They had to be, nothing else could explain that thing.

He manages to move his arm enough to reach for the tube, ready to grip it and tear the whole thing off his face.

That is, until he feels a hand grip his arm softly but firmly, slowly moving it back down to where it was previously laying, keeping it down by resting on it. He sees the hand connecting to an arm that leads.. back to one of the two figures. Though this time, he is able to make out the figures, and his memory assigns the two faces names quickly.

One of them is Tommy, a scientist from Black Mesa, but much more importantly, his best friend. Though it is definitely odd to see Tommy without his lab coat on. If they're at Black Mesa, why would Tommy not be wearing his typical gear? That makes no sense.

The other is Gordon, another scientist at Black Mesa, though he'd only recently met the man, who he has a few fond memories of, though he vaguely remembers getting on the man's nerves frequently. What was he doing here? And why was he also not wearing his lab coat, or the HEV suit?

He couldn't for the life of him figure it out. But from the concerned looks on their faces, something deeply troubling had happened. Seeing them watch him like this... he felt a strong pang of guilt in his chest. Seeing his two friends, _especially_ his best friend, looking down at him as if he'd just come back from death's door... It hurts.

He tries to take a deep breath, and feels the air flow through that weird tube. Is that why it was connected to his face? Is that why they were so afraid? Is that why he feels so weak? The thoughts are spinning through his head, and he's not sure what to make of them.

He watches blearily as Tommy's hand moves to squeeze his. He returns the gesture weakly, trying to show them he's there. Kind of. Tommy's teary-eyed expression changes into a more hopeful one as Benrey gives him a small smile, barely visible through the mask on his face.

"B-Benrey? Can you hear u-us?" Tommy questions, and Benrey tries to muster a response, despite the pain his throat was filled with. He wants to say words, ask questions, but all he manages to bring out is a quiet " **mhm.** " that isn't really any of the things he wanted it to be, the hum dulled by the mask on his face. However, it is good enough for Tommy, as Benrey can see a smile form on his face from the short sound.

He feels his eyes shut again, too heavy to remain open. But he tries to squeeze Tommy's hand again, trying to somehow communicate that he was okay and only feeling sleepy. What he wouldn't give for the ability to use his Sweet Voice right now, it was such an easy way of communicating his feelings with little words. Unfortunately, those damnable lungs of his current form would continue to refuse to let him do much, and he definitely doesn't have nearly enough energy to shapeshift right now.

"Benrey?! Are you okay!?" he hears Gordon's voice ask. With enough force, he manages to get out another hum of agreement, coughing for a short moment from the pain that was making itself noticeable again. He takes another deep inhale and exhale with the help of the machine. As much as he despises the sound it makes, he has to admit that the machine itself is great at doing what he assumes it's supposed to do. It makes breathing without straining his throat so much easier on him.

He feels really tired, ready to drift back away into the clutches of deep sleep. Questions... they could come later. He doesn't feel that swell right now, and doesn't want to think so much anymore.

Reassured by Benrey's noise of confirmation, Gordon and Tommy look at each other, before Tommy begins talking. Benrey is listening - not to the words, just the voice. He's unsure what exactly Tommy's saying, if it would answer any of the questions that had been running through his mind earlier or not, but it doesn't matter to him. He feels soothed by his friend's voice, and right now, that's all that matters to him.

Sometimes Tommy would squeeze his hand again, prompting Benrey to try and return it, though he eventually stopped doing it. Tommy, at first panicked by that, soon sees that Benrey seems to be asleep again.

Carefully, he removes his hand from the grasp of the other, looking over at Gordon. The two nod at each other and quietly leave the room, careful not to wake Benrey up.

Despite the fact that it was not much that had happened, the two were beaming.

\----

_2:12 pm_

Bubby: What's the news, you two?

Gordon: Benrey was awake. He was able to move and 'talk' (more like hum I guess) a bit but overall he was very visibly tired and fell asleep pretty quickly again. However he seemed to recognize us! So that's good news.

Gordon: Word of warning, he tried pulling off the mask and tube from the respirator when we were there, so if you're visiting him today or tomorrow, make sure he doesn't do it again. If he's reaching just put his hand down (gently, of course).

Gordon: The doc said the procedure itself went off without a hitch, so all that remains is hoping he'll remain stable and that his lungs recover properly.

Dr. Coomer: And of course hoping that his memories and all that have stayed fully intact despite the concussion.

Dr. Coomer: But that is fantastic news, Gordon! Thank you for giving us the update.

Gordon: No prob. I actually expected Tommy to answer first.

Bubby: Yeah, kinda odd that he isn't here yet.

Gordon: Maybe his dad needed him to do something, who knows.

_2:57 pm_

Tommy: Sorry! I got very distracted with stimming out of happiness,,

Dr. Coomer: It's no trouble!

\----

The next days continued about the same as the day Benrey came out of the coma, aside from the fact that he was improving slowly but steadily each day. Within just two days, he could say a variety of words without straining himself, and by the end of the week, he was speaking full sentences, though that was still a bit troublesome for him.

Unfortunately, the lungs weren't recovering quite as fast, so when the whole group was given the clear to visit that weekend (although they had to take turns), Benrey was still hooked up on the respirator. Despite this, he talked just like the good old Benrey they knew and loved, cracking jokes and talking about video games, and recognized them all - even Gordon, who he didn't know for a very long time before being possessed.

Just as the respirator can't be removed yet, Benrey is still laying around with bandages wrapped around his head. Tommy, who was quite confused about that, considering that he had no lasting symptoms other than headaches and occasional vertigo, asked the doctor about it, who told the four that the nurse had caught Benrey picking at the scar from the wound, managing to open it to the point of bleeding several times. So the doctor decided to keep the bandages for a while longer, to keep him from picking at it while no one was looking.

Benrey is staring at the white ceiling as he hears the door open again. Tommy and Gordon had just left the room but said that Bubby and Coomer were also there to visit today. He hears two chairs shuffling around at his bedside, briefly drowning out the sound of the rhythmical beeps. His hand reaches over to the small remote on his left, moving the mattress so that he is 'sat up' facing Coomer and Bubby directly.

" **yo.** " The word is still dulled by the respirator, getting on Benrey's nerves. He is about to reach for the tube again, but Coomer gives him a very scolding look that causes him to quickly drop his hand by his side again, grumbling a bit in his head. He had since been filled in by Tommy on what happened - well, the basics at least. They survived the resonance cascade and even a trip to an alien planet called Xen. They fixed most problems regarding the invading aliens. Benrey obviously didn't remember any of that, which was quickly explained to him by the fact that he was possessed by another eldritch being at the time. That helped him fill the random gaps in his memories from after they reached the surface till now. He had also been told that no, they were not at Black Mesa anymore. As a matter of fact, all four of them decided not to pick up their positions again, and Benrey was certain he wouldn't be returning there either after hearing all the shit that happened that he didn't even know about. They lived in a city in New Mexico now, fairly far away from Black Mesa. He also learned he'd been in the hospital for nearly three weeks now, spending a good two weeks of it in an artificial coma due to him nearly dying. Yeah, that was a thing.

"Hello, Benrey!" Coomer replies in his usual cheery and positive tone after dropping the scolding look. A subsequent "Hey Benrey," follows from Bubby, who is sitting next to Coomer.

"How are you doing?"

" **meh. could be better.** " Despite being able to say more than just a few words by now, Benrey continues to make only very short sentences, if at all. This is mainly because it's easier, doesn't require as much effort and helps not strain his voice too much, as it was still not in the best shape.

"Heh, figures." Bubby says, rubbing the back of his head. There is a moment of silence in the room, but it's quickly broken by Bubby's next comment. "So, I heard you've been picking at your head scar from the doctor," he murmurs, crossing his arms, giving Benrey a look that makes it very clear he was intending to be a bit teasing. Benrey immediately becomes embarrassed. Why did everyone have to mention that..? He quickly tries to go back to his usual facade but he knows well enough that both Bubby and Coomer had caught a glimpse of his face before he tried to hide it.

" **yeah. it's itchy. tommy brought it up too.** " Benrey simply replies, trying to end any conversation the topic as quickly as possible. Was he embarrassed by the amount of concern his friends had for him? Maybe. It was certainly heartwarming to know they all cared so much, but at the same time... The thought of how itchy the scar constantly is makes him want to itch it again, but he knows he'll only get another scolding look, so he settles for ruffling his untidy hair instead before letting his hand sink back to the mattress.

Luckily, Coomer picks up the hint, so when Bubby tries to respond to continue, he nudges him with his elbow, causing Bubby to stop mid-sentence, dropping it. "...nevermind. Just remember not to pick at it if you don't want to run around with bandages anymore once you come out of the hospital," Bubby says instead.

" **mhm,** " Benrey hums, giving a small nod. That's a fair argument, but he knows Bubby's really just trying to hide he's concerned. Benrey's known the man long enough to know his quirks. He musters a smile, barely visible through the mask.

" **i hope they.. uh get rid of the machine soon. it's very annoying. ...beeping all the time.** " he says. Coomer gives him an understanding look.

"I can imagine it must be quite stressful to constantly hear something beeping next to you, especially when you try to sleep!"

Benrey nods once more. " **yea..** "

The three keep up the small talk for a bit, with Coomer and Bubby dominating the conversation, filling Benrey in on all sorts of things they'd been up to as of late. Apparently Bubby had picked up cooking and baking as a hobby as of late, though Coomer added that he often ended up burning the food, causing Bubby to gently punch him in the arm. They also spent a lot of time over at Tommy's and Gordon's places, usually helping them out in the garden. Benrey didn't exactly understand the hobby of gardening - never had the chance to try it out so he doesn't exactly get what's so cool about it. Coomer offered that once he was out of the hospital, they could go to one of the two's gardens together and do some stuff around there - maybe Benrey would take a liking to it. Benrey enjoyed that thought and thanked Coomer for the offer, hoping to take him up on it soon.

But it is beginning to get late, and Benrey is feeling quite sleepy already again. It is hard to keep up these conversations for so long, especially considering the people at the hospital regularly have him do standing and walking exercises around the room (with assistance, of course), which isn't as easy when you've been laying in a bed for nearly three weeks with nearly no movement at all. Still, he was getting back in the swing of things with his current form, which is good.

Before the two left, though, Coomer reveals the bag he'd brought into the room that Benrey didn't pay further attention to up until now.

Inside were two cables, a phone and - Benrey almost couldn't believe his eyes - a PSP. No, _his_ PSP. Coomer said he'd taken it with him when he was getting the last few things that were still at his locker in Black Mesa before leaving once and for all, and decided to take it along, knowing Benrey would probably want it back as soon as he could get it.

" **th-thanks, bro,** " Benrey mutters, incredibly happy with the surprise. It had only been a week and his days at the hospital were _unbelievably boring_ , aside from whenever someone came for visit or the doctor came to do the exercises with him. Coomer smiles his big bright smile again.

"Of course, Benrey! I figured you'd be very happy to see it," he replies, "I've also checked with the doctor beforehand. He says you're free to use it whenever you want, as long as you're not neglecting your exercises for it!"

Benrey returns the smile, carefully setting down the devices beside him, before stretching out his arms to offer Coomer a hug as a thanks. The older man obliges.

After everyone says their goodbyes, Benrey excitedly opens up the last game he'd been playing before the whole Resonance Cascade incident and everything that followed happened, but he soon found himself too tired to continue playing, so he ended up shutting the console off, carefully laying it on the table that had been put at his bedside by a nurse, laying back down.

\----

7:45 AM

_Dr. Coomer has added Benrey to STH._

_Dr. Coomer has given Benrey admin privileges._

Benrey: **yo.**

Dr. Coomer: Hello, Benrey!

Tommy: Why are you two already awake??

_Benrey has changed the group name to Sonic the Hedgehog._

Benrey: **why is the group chat name the abbreviation for sonic.**

Benrey: **also im here cuz they wake us up early at the hospital.**

Tommy: Oh that's why I thought the group name was so familiar!!

Tommy: Why do they wake you up so early tho??

Benrey: **oh, uh, you know. making sure i'm still doing fine and dandy.**

Bubby: Washing.

Benrey: **bubby, uh, shut up.**

Tommy: Washing???????

Dr. Coomer: It would seem rather difficult for a person who struggles to stand.

Benrey: ... **yeah, uhm, that.**

Benrey: **anyways, i, uh, gotta.. go. for a bit. see ya.**

Tommy: Okay, see you later! I'll be coming by the hospital today!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benrey finally no longer needs the respirator, and the rest of the Science Team are excited to see him come home once the observation period is over.

_7:55 AM_

_Benrey posted an image._

Benrey: **yo.**

Tommy: Good morning!!

Tommy: Wait, how did you take that picture..? Your bed isn't that close to the window!!

Benrey: **im standing at the window, duh.**

Benrey: **..dont tell the doc i was walking around, uh, unsupervised.**

Tommy: !!! >:OO Go back to your bed Benrey!!

Tommy: It would be very bad if you lost your balance right now and fell over where no one would see you immediately!!

Benrey: **dw im already back in bed. wouldnt want the, uh, doc catching me sneaking around**

Benrey: **i mean he did say that im good to walk and stand alone but he, uhm, didnt want me walking around completely unsupervised yet.**

Dr. Coomer: Good morning, you two!

Bubby: Good morning motherfuckers!!

Benrey: **theres 2 kinds of people.**

Benrey: **gm.**

Gordon: Wow I haven't looked in here forever.

Gordon: Okay who changed the group name to Sonic the Hedgehog and since when is Benrey here.

Benrey: **heyo feetman.**

Benrey: **coomer added me 3 days ago**

Benrey: **oh n that was me. your group name was, uh, the abbreviation for sonic**

Gordon: Please Do Not Call Me Feetman

Gordon: But ok that's fair.

Benrey: **request denied**

Benrey: **anyways wanna know an epic gamer moment?**

Tommy: What is it??

Gordon: ?

Bubby: Well don't keep us in suspense!

Benrey: **doc said the... uh, breathing thing**

Benrey: **air giver 4000**

Gordon: Respirator?

Benrey: **that**

Benrey: **anyways he said its, uh, coming off today. no more extra air for lil old benrey  
**

Benrey: **and since thats getting out, the... the food tube, is also being removed**

Tommy: Really?! That's amazing news!!

Dr. Coomer: That's fantastic to hear my friend!

Bubby: Sounds wonderful, I don't think I could survive the beeping much longer if I were in your shoes.

Gordon: That's great to hear, bud! Does that mean you'll be out of the hospital today?

Benrey: **doc said im staying for another two or three days to, uhm, observe my condition**

Benrey: **if its all good i can go**

Tommy: That's so good to hear! Hopefully you'll get to go home soon!!

Benrey: **oh yea, uh, about that.**

Benrey: **where exactly do i go once im outta here**

Benrey: **because like  
**

Benrey: **local eldritch monster does not have a home, has a very big fail moment**

Gordon: You could live with me, I guess? I have an extra room that's kinda unused right now.

Tommy: I'd offer our place but we don't have a guest room or something like that!

Benrey: **ooo feetman will let me live with him? sounds cool bro**

Gordon: I take that as a yes.

Gordon: 'Kay, I'll try and get the room set up before you get out of the hospital. That sound good?

Benrey: **ye**

Gordon: Cool cool. **@Dr. Coomer @Bubby @Tommy** Mind helping me out?

Dr. Coomer: Of course, Gordon! Bubby and I would gladly help.

Bubby: Hey I didnsdackaskdfalcsdshgsdbv

Tommy: I'd come too, Mr. Freeman!

Tommy: Is Bubby okay???

Dr. Coomer: As I said, Bubby and I will be there.

Bubby: HAROLD PUNCHED ME IN THE ARM AND I DROPPED THE PHONE

Benrey: **rip**

Benrey: **oh, doc's coming. hopefully to get this air thing off**

Benrey: **bye**

Tommy: Okay, see you!

\----

A gentle knock on the door causes Benrey to slowly blink his eyes open, softly rubbing them as he sits up in his bed.

" **come** **in,** " he says, voice fairly quiet, yawning and scratching his head before stretching carefully. The door opens gradually until Tommy's head pokes in. Once he sees that Benrey is awake, he enters the room quickly, closing the door behind him. Tommy takes his seat in the chair by Benrey's bedside, smiling at the other, who returns the smile.

"Hey there," Tommy speaks up after a short pause, "I see they finally removed the respirator." Benrey nods in response, thinking about how weird it was to have it removed after having it on for three and a half weeks. That makes him realize the fact that he has been at the hospital for nearly four weeks now - that's an entire month. To think so much time has passed since the Black Mesa incident...

" **yup. glad it's gone... it's nice to breathe without having air pushed in your lungs."** he retorts, before gesturing to the room. " **and the beeping's finally over.** "

Tommy gives a small giggle at that. "I can imagine. It must've been absolutely agonizing to hear that sound for over a week straight." Benrey hums in response. " **and the dulling was annoying too. couldnt hear my voice right.** " He thinks about how badly he wanted to rip the damn thing off every time, but the scolding looks from his friends were usually enough to make him drop it. He knew it was meant to be good for him, and he can't argue that it wasn't, but it certainly had more than enough downsides.

"How are you feeling?" The question snaps Benrey out of his thoughts. In all honesty, while he was feeling great physically, he couldn't help but feel bothered by the lackluster explanation he'd received for his memory gaps. Sure, possession explains why they were there, but what happened when he wasn't himself then? It was very suspicious how Tommy was all hush-hush on the topic, but Benrey decided in his head that it was probably the fact they were in a public space that made him not want to talk about it in detail. Either way, he is going to ask him or one of the others once he gets out of the hospital - the curiosity was killing him.

" **m'fine. feels a bit weird to breathe without the mask, but it's** **good."** Benrey responds after a few moments. Tommy nods gently.

For a few minutes, the two sit in good, comfortable silence. Eventually, Benrey's gaze shifts upon the window, and he begins to think.

" **hey, tommy?** " The other looks at him. "Yeah?" he asks.

" **there's a balcony on this floor. can we, uh, go there? ...i wanna... wanna be outside this room for a bit.."** Benrey offers a small smile, ready to shuffle out of bed.

Tommy seems a bit surprised at first, but quickly agrees. "Sure thing," he replies, getting up. Benrey shuffles the blanket aside, revealing the entirety of his hospital gown. He carefully turns to the side of his bed, placing his feet on the ground and steadying himself. Despite the fact that he could stand and walk short distances easily, longer walks like the one to the balcony were a bit troublesome, mainly due to the fact that Benrey had been bedridden for nearly three weeks, aside from the gradual physical therapy he had been receiving in the last week. Once the two leave the room, Benrey links arms with Tommy to help himself so that he doesn't fall.

In just a minute or two, they reach the balcony, which was currently unoccupied, despite the fact that it was basking in sunlight at this time of day. Once they are close enough to it, Benrey grabs onto the railing to help himself stay steady. At first, he is still a bit wonky, and Tommy fears he might fall over, taking his place right next to Benrey, a hand held just a few centimeters away from the other's back, should he indeed plummet backwards. But after a few seconds, Benrey seems to have balanced himself well on his feet - despite this, Tommy decided to softly place his hand on Benrey's back, just in case.

Benrey takes a very deep breath of air, enjoying the smell of something that is not a completely sterile environment, and the sound of something that is not the mechanical beeping of a machine or the silence he'd been in before Tommy came to visit him. He sighs. " **i can't wait to be out of here."** he states, casually resting his arms on the railing. The sunlight on his skin... it's very nice and warm, giving him a bit of comfort. His unkempt hair and hospital gown sway softly with the wind, leaving a small chill that quickly fades in the warm sun.

The small forest below is equally as wonderful to look at. Never having really been outside Black Mesa, lots of things he was seeing frequently now are completely unfamiliar to him. He wonders how the bark of the trees would feel if he touched them. He knows some of the things at Black Mesa were made of wood, but they looked far smoother than the mantle of the trees. Would it be rough to touch, or still smooth? How would the grass feel underneath his feet? He's unsure, and secretly, maybe even a tiny bit scared. There is a lot of new things he will have to experience at once, and he's afraid it might be too much, that it might overload him. But he's also excited to learn more about the world beyond the borders of the Black Mesa facility.

There's a lot of things he'd already found out just from his short time here. His friends often brought flowers, especially Gordon, and by this point he had somewhat of a small collection to experience the many different smells that these little things could have. Dr. Coomer had told him more about gardening and flowers and so when he was visiting alone for a change, and Benrey was absolutely baffled to find out the variety he _had_ wasn't even _a_ _tenth_ of what was out there. It makes him all the more curious for this whole thing. He also finally found out what a comfortable bed feels like. At least he definitely considers the hospital bed comfortable. It was a lot better than anything you could've found at Black Mesa. Same with windows and the scenery outside. Black Mesa basically had no windows to speak of, at least not in the department where he was stationed his entire time there, and as such, he'd never really gotten to experience what it was like to feel sunlight on your skin, or just have a look outside at the forests and rivers. And clothes definitely fell in that category too. He doesn't really remember any time in which he didn't wear his outfit - no, not even for sleep, which he rarely did anyways, not seeing the benefit to it (unlike now). The hospital gown was new and interesting, at least for the time he had been wearing it. It felt a bit odd, especially walking around with it, because it's somehow made so that the doctors and nurses could open it at any time to access the body hidden beneath it. But at the same time, it was at least a hundred times more comfortable than the guard outfit, something Benrey _really_ hoped he wouldn't have to go back to. He was very curious to try other, new clothes too, mainly something like what Tommy was wearing. It looked big, baggy and comfortable, something that Benrey was absolutely itching to try out. He knows how comfortable it feels on the outside, and Tommy has told him that sweaters feel the same from the inside, too.

"Yeah, I can imagine that," Tommy says, smiling, following Benrey's stare to the trees and flowers below. The words rip Benrey out of his many thoughts and pull him back to reality. He finds himself smiling in the presence of his friend, and carefully runs a hand through his unkempt hair. It was weird to feel, considering he almost always wore that helmet in this form. It feels kind of unnatural, but Benrey's not one to complain about that.

" **... do you... do... do you think they'll let me out..? after the... observation period, i mean.."** he asks. Tommy looks over at Benrey.

"Your values have all been fine?" " **yep. my stats are all epic, bro."** "Then they'll let you out, unless you manage to like.. plummet severely in the next two days, but I highly doubt that!"

Benrey looks away. **"to be honest... i'm kinda scared what happens if... if they.. if they do. i really don't want... to be here much longer."** he admits, sighing.

Tommy has an understanding expression on his face, softly patting Benrey's back. He offers a reassuring smile. "I'm sure they won't. You've been improving just fine," he says, "and you've been following the doc's instructions." He thinks back on the conversation of this morning. "Well, at least for most part. I'm sure your body has recovered well by now,"

Benrey looks over at Tommy, returning a smile.

" **thanks bro... i really mean it. its reassuring to hear you say that."**

For a moment he's unsure, but then he begins quietly singing with his Sweet Voice. Small bubbles of apricot slowly changing color to navy blue float around them before quickly disappearing after. Within a minute or two, Benrey stops, a bit scared that anyone aside from Tommy might see it.

Tommy smiles at the gesture. "Apricot to Navy Blue, that means 'I thank you'. You're very welcome, Benrey!" He wraps his arms around the other, giving him a tight hug. Benrey is quick to return the gesture.

The two remain on the balcony for quite a while longer, watching the approaching sunset.

\----

_6:10 pm_

Benrey: **YOO**

Benrey: **WHY DID NO ONE EVER TELL ME HUMAN FOOD CAN TASTE THIS GOOD**

Tommy: What did they bring you?

Bubby: Oh yeah, that's right, you can eat on your own now.

_Benrey posted an image._

[140320211811.png]

Gordon: That's just bread with two slices of cheese, some butter and an apple...

Dr. Coomer: Now Gordon, it is important to remember Benrey has never been outside Black Mesa before.

Bubby: And you _know_ what kind of shit they served there.

Tommy: It was so gross!! Even worse than the school cafeteria food they had at my school :(

Gordon: Ok yeah fair.

Gordon: Enjoy your food then!

Gordon: You'll probably find even better stuff once you can leave the hospital and come to my place.

Benrey: **fhgkgsdkdsfhsdf**

Bubby: The rare appearance of keysmash Benrey.

Benrey: **it literally tastes so good. this is a very epic gamer moment**

Dr. Coomer: Did they give you something to drink as well, Benrey?

_Benrey posted an image._

[140320211813.png]

Benrey: **i love this**

Tommy: Oh hey, what kinda water is that?

Benrey: **dunno the nurse just brought in the whole tray**

Benrey: **ill ask her it tastes good**

Gordon: Well, you guys have fun. I'm gonna go sleep now, setting up the guest room was quite tiring.

Bubby: Agreed.

Dr. Coomer: Goodnight, Gordon.

Gordon: Goodnight everyone

Tommy: Goodnight Mr. Freeman, sleep well!

Benrey: **goodnight feetman**

Benrey: **bro this beats anything black mesa had to offer by a mile**

Bubby: That's because Black Mesa fucking sucked, man.

Tommy: True!

Dr. Coomer: Indeed.

Benrey: **oh i know**

_Benrey has changed the group chat name to Black Mesa hate club.  
_

Bubby: NOW THIS I CAN GET BEHIND

Bubby: The Science Team is now officially just the Black Mesa hate club.

Tommy: I can work with that!

Benrey: **yea bro**

Benrey: **anyways im. sleepy. i will go into sleep mode now goodnight**

Tommy: Okay, sleep well!

Tommy: I should probably also get going.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benrey is finally released from the hospital and gets to move together with Gordon. However, being an eldritch being who is not used to doing normal human stuff can certainly be difficult when you experience a world outside your prison for the very first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the rather short chapter!! I've been really rattled as of late and feeling a bit sick, so I'm only posting this chapter today (I was planning on working on/releasing chapter 5 today too, but I didn't get around to it because of IRL stuff)  
> also for reference while all of them (aside from benrey) work (i will probably get into what each of them does later but it's not important as of right now!) their shenanigans are secretly all funded by the g-man lets be honest he'd do that for them after saving the world (and because tommy asked nicely maybe hfdsfgbdsgh)

_8:10 AM_

Gordon: Hey, since today's the big day, who's gonna pick Benrey up from the hospital?

Bubby: Well, it would make sense if you pick him up since he's going to live at your place anyways.

Gordon: True, but he's registered at the hospital under Coolatta, so wouldn't it make more sense for Tommy to pick him up?

Tommy: We can both go if that works for you!! I was going to stop by your place in a bit anyways, Mr. Freeman!

Gordon: Sounds good. I'll pick you up in, say, half an hour if that's fine with you?

Tommy: Sure thing! I'll go get ready

Benrey: **oh yeah that reminds me**

Benrey: **why AM i registered under tommys last name.**

Dr. Coomer: Well, my friend, we could hardly have said we don't know your last name or that you don't have one! That would quite suspicious to the folk at the hospital.

Dr. Coomer: So when Gordon and Tommy brought you in they settled for just registering you as Benrey Coolatta! That took away any suspicions that might've been had otherwise.

Benrey: **bro humans are so weird. like.. why do you need a last name**

Bubby: A variety of reasons, 95% of which are purely reasons relating to law and legal issues.

Benrey: **i dont get it**

Bubby: Don't worry, I highly doubt an eldritch being such as yourself will have to understand it. If anything comes up, Gordon can handle it, or Tommy and his dad, I don't know.

Benrey: **fair enough**

Benrey: **oh yeah, doc said i can be picked up after 12pm if the final test results from this morning are all fine**

Gordon: 'Kay, good to know.

Gordon: Behave until then, yeah?

Benrey: **ive been behaving for the past two weeks im pretty sure i can handle another, uh, 4 hours**

Benrey: **also @Tommy you weren't lying abt sweaters being soft, the one you brought me is like amazing**

Benrey: **...very comfy. epic gamer moment**

Tommy: I'm glad you like it! It's too small for me nowadays anyways so you can keep it!

Benrey: **yooo, that's epic thanks bro**

\-----

Benrey is patiently sitting in the bed, waiting for Tommy and Gordon to arrive and pick him up. The test results had come back and everything was okay, so all there is to do now is sitting around until his friends come.

He is looking down, playing a game on his PSP to distract himself. Despite the fact that he knows they are friends, it is still quite a jump from hanging out with your bros to living together with one of them. And it is very different from how the situation would've been was he moving to Tommy's place - sure, Gordon seems like quite a nice person, and from what Benrey does remember, he is, especially considering the constant fun poking Benrey was subjecting him to at the time, but he didn't know Gordon nearly as well as anyone else in the group. In comparison to the others, this is like moving in with a stranger to him.

A soft knock snaps him out of his thoughts, causing him to look up. The door opens, showing Tommy and Gordon standing there, alongside the nurse who checked on him his morning. Tommy and Gordon wave, giving a small smile, which Benrey returns.

"They're here to pick you up, Mr. Coolatta," the nurse says, giving a nod before leaving the room. Tommy steps in, walking to Benrey's bedside and helping him up, letting Benrey steady himself by linking arms again. In the meantime, Gordon grabs the small prepped bag in which the few things Benrey had during his stay at the hospital were stored in.

The trip out of the hospital isn't as short as Benrey thought it would be, realizing just now that he was not on the first or second floor, but on the fifth floor. Most of their walk was spent heading to the elevator.

Finally, the three get outside, and Benrey marvels a bit at the complete opposite view to what he'd been seeing up until now. This side of the hospital clearly shows the fact that yes, they are in a city, not in the middle of nowhere like Black Mesa was. Benrey looks around for a few moments before following Tommy to the parking lot, where Gordon had parked his car. They put the bag into the trunk before getting into the car. Because Benrey was still a bit wonky on his feet from not having walked such distances in a while, Tommy decides to sit in the back with him.

The drive home is rather uneventful, aside from Benrey carefully inspecting the inside of the car. You can tell he's never been outside Black Mesa simply by how fascinated he is with all these.. simple, obvious things. He taps the window, noticing that while it was glass, it didn't seem as fragile as the one used in Black Mesa. He taps a couple more times, enjoying the sound, before moving on to inspecting the seats and seat belts. Gordon explicitly asks him not to play around with the seat belt, which makes Benrey extremely curious.

" **why not?"** he questions, hoping for an answer. "Seat belts are there to protect you if anything happens while driving! For example, if we have to make a hard stop, the seat belt is there to protect you from crashing forward and injuring yourself. That's why you should always wear one!" Tommy responds, offering a smile. "Also, driving without the seat belt on is illegal, so not wearing it can get us in trouble." Gordon adds. Benrey nods, though he still doesn't quite get it - but he knows that human bodies are far more fragile than his own, so that probably would make sense.

" **ok,"** is his simple, short response. Once he's done inspecting the seats, he goes on to stare out of the window, watching the variety of sceneries passing them by. There's a lot more houses than he was used to seeing, but he supposes that's what happens when you work at a facility that has its base of operations in the middle of nowhere.

Eventually, they arrive at a decently sized house near what seems to be the outskirts of the city, Gordon pulling into the driveway. The group gets out of the car, and Benrey inspects the house. " **this is where you live?"** he asks, looking over at Gordon, who gives him a nod. " **it looks nice.** " he smiles.

The first thing he notices outside the house is the garden they pass through. It's not big, but it looks beautiful regardless. Benrey recognizes a few flowers as ones that were in the bouquets Gordon would bring by during his stay at the hospital. He wants to stay longer and look around, but he notices Gordon looking at him, waiting for him to get inside. Benrey gets up from his crouching position at the side of the flowerbed, walking to the door. " **...sorry,** " he mutters awkwardly, but Gordon offers him an understanding smile. "It's fine, I get that you haven't seen most of this. If you want, we can go outside and check out the garden later, after we've gotten you set up in your room," he says, closing the door behind the two of them. Benrey nods. He likes that idea.

The house looks simple, but also quite cozy on the inside. Benrey notes that there is no room specifically for eating, unlike the break room at Black Mesa. Gordon shrugs. "Yeah, I just eat in the kitchen or the living room. It's no trouble," he explains casually. Tommy and Gordon are on their way upstairs while Benrey was still taking in the downstairs area. There's lots of things here that he knows, just not in that form, like the kitchen, the chairs, the table. They all look far more comfortable than anything he'd seen at Black Mesa.

"Are you coming?" Tommy's voice echoes from upstairs. Benrey looks up. " **uh, yeah,"** he responds, making his way up. Here, too, it looks better than anything he'd seen at Black Mesa. There is three rooms - one that he easily identifies as a bathroom, then, what he assumes to be Gordon's room, and what he believes is his. The hunch confirms as the three enter the room he suspected to be his.

Inside, it feels quite welcoming. The window has a view on the garden in the front yard, the 'bed' (which was actually a couch, as Tommy quickly explains upon Benrey's questioning look) looks comfortable (although not as comfortable as the one in the hospital), a small wardrobe (which, Benrey notes, is quite different from the lockers at Black Mesa) and variety of pillows and blankets. Despite the few objects inside, Benrey feels at home, and quickly dismisses Gordon's kind of apologetic explanation for the (in his words) 'lackluster' interior, thanking him for letting him stay here in the first place and saying he likes how it looks. Gordon seems quite relieved by that notion.

The three begin to unpack the bag and another box Tommy had brought with him, in which he put clothes that are the same size as what Benrey wears now - all of which were too small for him, so he figured he would give them to his bestie, since he can use them still. During this, Benrey notes the carpet when he kneels down to put something in the lowest part of the wardrobe, asking why the floor felt soft and fuzzy, which the other two quickly explain to him as being the carpet, which is made so you don't have to walk on the cold floors. Benrey nods, continuing putting stuff where it should go for a while.

\----

Benrey sits around at the table with Tommy, having a conversation about video games, while Gordon is making food. The two offer to help out several times, but Gordon insists that it was fine and that he had invited them for dinner so he should be the one making the food. Eventually, the two give up asking and go back to their conversation, beginning to talk intensively about LittleBigPlanet, a game that the two of them enjoy greatly and often played together, agreeing that they should do it again soon.

Gordon places three plates and utensils for eating on the table, which Tommy and Benrey begin placing in their proper places, before Gordon places a tray on the table on top of a cutting board. Benrey is curious about the tray, reaching to touch it, but Gordon quickly shoos his hand away. "It's very hot, you'll burn your hand," he explains, and Benrey simply nods, muttering a quiet " **sorry,** ", to which Gordon responds with "No worries, I just didn't want you to hurt yourself."

The food on the tray interests Benrey more than anything. He takes a closer look at it. " **what is this?** " he asks, looking up at the other two. Tommy smiles. "It's called pizza!! It's one of my favorite foods - it's dough baked with tomato sauce and cheese on top!" he explains, seeming quite excited about it.  
  
Well, if Tommy enjoys it a lot, Benrey is sure he will like it too. Gordon carefully takes out a few slices he cut from the tray, placing it upon each of their plates.

And Benrey would be right with that assumption. Just like the bread he'd eaten yesterday, this food was delicious, easily beating his meal from yesterday and this morning. His friends smile at him, seeing how much he seems to be enjoying the food.

"Tasty, huh?" Gordon asks, to which Benrey nods while taking another bite. He highly regrets all of these things he's missed out on up until now, but he's happy that he at least gets to try it now. Tommy gives a small giggle at how excited Benrey was about the food.

Afterwards, once they finished washing the dishes, Gordon brings Tommy home, leaving Benrey alone at his home, telling him to call should he need anything desperately. However, that's not necessary, as Benrey decides to go into his room and go to sleep, exhausted from the day, slumping down on the couch, grabbing a few pillows and one of the blankets, shuffling underneath it quickly.

By the time Gordon got home, Benrey was fast asleep in his little room, allowing Gordon go to bed himself.

\----

2:47 AM

_Gordon posted an image._

[160320210247.png]

Gordon: Don't think I didn't see you at the fridge eating a slice of cheese without anything else **@Benrey**


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benrey finally gets the truth about what happened when he was possessed out of Gordon. What follows is a serious breakdown and a eldritch shapeshifter running off, leaving the rest of the Science Team desperately scouring the nearby area for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yeah maybe I should mention that Tommy is adopted but still inherits G-Man's powers. I promise this will be relevant for this chapter and the next  
> Didn't think I'd finish the chapter today but here we are!
> 
> Oh also something I felt like I should include for lore reasons(tm) that doesnt matter for this chapter: the reason why Benrey still calls Gordon Feetman sometimes is because he actually misread his name on the passport in Act 1 in this AU. He does have a vague feeling there was more to the joke that he doesn't remember but he mainly does it because of him misreading it the first time and it becomes an inside joke between the group during Act 1 and Act 2 in the AU.

It has been a few days since Benrey moved in with Gordon. The two were getting along just fine, and Benrey was much enjoying staying here and found himself very fond of taking care of the garden. He's learned a lot about plants since he got here and loved helping Gordon out with caring for them.

But despite this seemingly positive attitude, Benrey was thinking. _A lot_. About that whole possession thing, and why Tommy and the others were shying away so much from talking about this topic. He tried asking his best friend twice or thrice about it, but all times he'd receive an answer that was very vague and not at all satisfying to Benrey. He tried to ask Dr. Coomer and Bubby, too, but both of them were just as evasive with their responses. And the longer this avoiding of the topic went on, the more Benrey became convinced that whatever happened was so horrible to his friends that they refused to speak about it.

After meeting a brick wall every time he brought it up to those that he was closer to, Benrey is tired of the deafening silence and decides to go against whatever his plans were, intending on asking Gordon about the topic. Hopefully his roommate could give him the clarity he so desperately wants.

\---

" **hey, gordon?** " His voice is quiet and soft. He feels a lump form in his throat, afraid to actually ask the question. Nobody outright yelled at him whenever he wanted to know more, but he could tell they didn't want to speak about it, and he fears that Gordon would have the same reaction, if not even a more intense one. Regardless, his curiosity gets the better of him and he _wants_ the truth, nothing more, nothing less. Gordon looks over at him, so he knows he has his attention.

It is nearly midnight, and in the dim light that illuminates the living room, Benrey can tell he looks quite tired... maybe he should postpone his question? No, no, he has to ask now. He knows Gordon will be blunt with him in this state, and that's what he wants. No beating around the bush, no sugarcoating, he just wants to know what exactly happened. He feels guilty without even _knowing_ what happened, and Gordon's answer may give him the peace of mind he seeks.

"What's up?" Gordon asks, blinking at Benrey's long pause, confused as to why Benrey wasn't continuing despite clearly seeing that he has his attention.

Well, no sugarcoating. " **what.. what happened when.. when i was.. possessed?** " he questions, " **i want to know the truth. the others... they won't tell** **me.** "

Gordon gives a mixture of a disgruntled and concerned look. He knows exactly why the others didn't tell Benrey any specifics, and he knows that maybe he shouldn't either, but he also knows Benrey won't stop bugging him until he's gotten the truth. And Gordon decides that he deserves to know the full truth of what happened, aside from the vague 'You were possessed by another eldritch being, but we took care of it,' comment that everyone gave him.

"You want the truth? The full truth?" he asks, just to ensure that Benrey indeed wanted to know all of it.

Benrey feels a pang of guilt in his heart, despite the fact that Gordon hadn't even said anything yet. That stern look tells him enough to know some very bad things happened in particular between them. But he wants to know. He gives a nod.

Gordon looks away.

"A lot of things happened when you were possessed. As a matter of fact, you missed out on the majority of our journey because of it. And whatever possessed you made you do a lot of bad things." Benrey can see Gordon's gaze, and he sees hate in it. He's not sure if it's directed at the entity that possessed him, or if it was meant for Benrey himself. He gulps, feeling the tension in the air, waiting for Gordon to continue.

"Aside from constantly making fun of me, you betrayed me to the military, who cut my hand off, which I had to suffer with till nearly the end of our journey. I only got it back thanks to Tommy's dad." Another painful blow, but Benrey awaits the rest. "You were always mocking me and antagonizing me for it, too." Ouch. "And later, when we went to that alien planet, Xen... you tried to kill all of us. Several times. You talked about how it was us that forced you to be evil, and..."

Gordon trails off as he hears the quiet sobbing from Benrey, looking up. That is definitely a new sight to him.

His expression changes from angry and upset to concerned fairly quickly. "I- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have phrased-" He interrupts himself as he hears... the Sweet Voice.

 **'monster'** , the word repeats itself over and over in his head. He really was one. The fact it was _not_ him, that he was _possessed_ at the time, it was completely gone from his mind. All he could think of was the fact that he was a monster. He wasn't like the others, he was not like any of them, and he'd been nothing more but an experiment subject at Black Mesa. He did nothing more than pretend to be something he was not. The scientists were right, and what Gordon told him about what he does not remember only rings even more true with that word circling his every thought.

Bubbles of black and umber floated around the room, and Gordon definitely didn't recognize what these colors meant. He tries to reach a hand out to Benrey, but he snaps his head to look at Gordon, tears running down his cheeks, staining them, sharp teeth gritted together.

" **no! don't touch me- i'm a monster,** " he growls, crying harder. " **i only ever hurt those around me!** " Flashes of memories he'd forcibly buried surface again. He sees Bubby's bleeding arm, Coomer's look as he pounces on him... Tommy's frightened look as he lays in front of him, tears having formed at the corners of his eyes. He is a monster, a beast, nothing more, something that is destined to hurt those around it all the time. He's hurt Gordon, too. He realizes that despite his warning, Gordon tried to stretch out his hand further, and the claws on his own fingers were dug into the other's skin, causing droplets of blood to escape the fresh wound.

He releases his grip, but that doesn't stop his form from violently shifting, unable to hold it under control. Eyes start opening where there should be none, fingers become claws, and he knows he can't get it under control anymore. Darkness envelopes his form slowly but surely. With the last willpower he can muster to control his body, he rushes outside, trying to get as far away from anyone he could hurt as possible. He's afraid of himself, of his powers, and he knows that this fear _will make him hurt someone again_.

Gordon, in a panic, hurries after Benrey, running outside with nothing more than a flashlight and his phone, scouring the yard for him, but he quickly sees footprints leading away into the darkness - out into the wastes outside the city borders.

At first, he considers following Benrey alone, thinking about the fact that it was very late, but he then decides to pull out his phone from his pocket, following the footprints with the flashlight while calling the rest of the Science Team.

\----

Tommy is the first person that Gordon calls. It's midnight and Tommy is confused as to who could be calling at such an hour, but as soon as he recognizes the number as Gordon's, he knows something is up.

"Hello?? What's wrong, Mr. Freeman?" he asks as soon as he picks up. He could hear the man panting on the other side of the line.

"Tommy- Tommy, it's about Benrey," Gordon starts, catching his breath, "I- I told him about what happened when he was possessed-- he began using his Sweet Voice uncontrollably and shapeshifting, then he ran off-- I'm following him right now, it looks like he's running straight to the defunct purification plant-- can you call Harold and Bubby and meet up with me there?? I'll- I'll try to cut him off there and stall him till you can come-!"

Tommy's face pales at the mention. He has very troubling memories of Benrey losing control when Black Mesa was conducting experiments on him, and this sounds no different from that. He is also a little ticked off that Gordon told him despite the group agreeing to not explain in detail until some time had passed, but he buries that, knowing he should worry more about Gordon's safety. "B-Be careful, Mr. Freeman! B-Benrey might lash out at y-you if you corner h-him! I-I'll come as quickly as I c-can with the Coomers!"

"Yeah I know, he already scratched my arm," Gordon responds.

"B-Before you go, w-what did-- what did the bubbles look l-like? From the S-Sweet Voice, I mean..!"

"They were, uh, I think black and umber?"

Tommy pauses, his expression growing even more upset. He bites his lip- he knows exactly what that means, and he feels a pang of guilt strike his heart. He saw it very frequently before Tommy helped Benrey take up the position of a regular guard by disguising himself as a humanoid, when the experiments were still going.

"I'm gonna hang up now, I'll see you at the purification plant, please hurry!"

Tommy's hands shake as he searches his contacts for Bubby's number, knowing that he would reach the man because he always forgets to turn off his notification sounds.

"Black to umber.... means I'm a monster."

\----

Tommy, Bubby and Dr. Coomer get out of the car, looking at the abandoned sewage plant. Tommy rushes ahead, calling out Benrey's name, entering the long defunct facility. Bubby and Coomer spread out to help find Gordon and Benrey, carefully stepping along the decaying walkways and platforms.

"Benrey? Benrey!" Tommy yells out again, struggling to see even with his flashlight. He whips around as he hears some debris crumble off a ledge, seeing Bubby stand on a platform above him. "H-Have you found him o-or Mr. Freeman yet?" Tommy asks, looking up.

"We haven't found Gordon yet, but he texted that he managed to redirect Benrey into the facility, so they should both be in here somewhere," Bubby states. "I'll check up here. Yell if you find something," And with that, he turns away to walk back to where he'd come from, likely to search a different room.

Cautiously, Tommy makes his way along a nearly completely crumbled catwalk, having spotted claw marks along the wall on the other side. Some concrete tumbles from the edge and Tommy hurries over to the other end of it, watching a good chunk of the walkway fall into the seemingly endless pit below. Welp, no going back that way now.

"Benrey?" he calls, looking around the section of the purification plant he'd reached now. For a moment he thinks he heard footsteps and slowly makes his way towards the area he thought they'd come from, shining his flashlight in that direction. Another room. Tommy enters, noticing that it leads to what seems to be an open area... debris is laying around, so he assumes this part of the building was already quite instable and collapsed in itself. He climbs over the various pieces of rocky rubble covering the floor, jumping off on the other end.

He hears rustling in the room ahead and steps closer. "Benrey...?" he murmurs, voice almost a whisper now. And then he sees the eyes, glowing bright yellow and red in the darkness of the room, staring straight at him. It is all too reminiscent of the times Benrey lost control at Black Mesa, and Tommy wants to instinctively step back, but stands his ground. "Benrey..?" he whispers his name again, looking directly at the eyes, unsure which ones should be his main focus.

A shadowy biped with dozens of eyes steps out of the darkness slowly, hunched over and almost touching the ground with his claws. His teeth glint in the light of the flashlight, eyes piercing daggers into Tommy. He's not sure whether or not Benrey recognizes him.

" **T̴̤͖̞̱̪̭̹̪̋ͤ̆o̳̹̭͈ͯ͌͘m̴͉̠͉̗̟͓̘̉.̵̤̲̓̿̅.̧͈̺̳̹̜̻̯̑.̸̞̭͍͖͇͍͐ͫ̐m̢̼͚̳ͦ̈́y̭̰̿ͬ̀̚͜?̛̮̟͕͙̤̳̐** " A growl that sounds like his name is forced out of Benrey, and Tommy blinks.

"D-Do you recognize me..?" he asks again quietly. Benrey's eyes suddenly widen, and Tommy fears he said something wrong as Benrey charges at him, knocking him to the ground. Tommy shuts his eyes tightly in fear, awaiting a hit or a bite.

That is until he hears the several gunshots that fire just seconds after he is knocked to the ground. He opens them again, looking up at Benrey, who hovers above him, blood dripping from several gunshot wounds. And then Tommy hears the bang of the guns firing again, clenching his eyes shut tightly again...

But then Tommy's eyes snap wide open in his panic, and his pupils glow in an ominous yellow rather than the normal, friendly green tone they are. Everything around Benrey and himself stop as Tommy feels his energy drain rapidly. The bullets never hit. They are floating in the air, still destined to hit their target, should the two of them not move within the next few seconds.

Tommy's body trembles as he tries to uphold the stasis, but it's not easy, and trying to communicate with another being during this very moment isn't going to make it any less difficult for him.

"Benrey, move...! I can't keep this up for much longer..!" Tommy huffs, focusing as much as he could on keeping the time stop going.

As if on command, he gets off, and Tommy is about to try and get up himself, keeping his hands stretched out before him to help keep the stasis for just a few seconds longer before he would be exhausted from it, when he suddenly feels clawed fingers grab underneath his arms, pulling him up to his feet.

But where to go now?

The only way back crumbled when Tommy walked across it, and it seems like this room is a complete dead-end.

Tommy gets out of the way of the bullets, letting go of his grip on time, rushing back into the debris-filled room with Benrey. Maybe they could climb up to the upper level, get out from there?

He begins climbing, while Benrey, with the increased height of this unstable form that was still shifting, easily jumps up, pulling Tommy up with a tail he didn't even notice before. Or did it just form seconds ago? He's unsure, but it's not like it matters.

The two begin running to the next room, scrambling to get away from whoever was trying to kill them. Nobody should be here, right? How did anyone even find them here?

But their attackers had easily caught up to them after a short period of confusion, and surround them quickly again.

Another round is fired as Tommy and Benrey hastily search for an exit. Tommy sees the bullets approaching Benrey, and stops time again with whatever little energy remained in him. But they are trapped - there is no way out unless they manage to get past the attackers.

And among them, the two catch onto an all too familiar face...


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On their chase after Benrey, the Science Team crosses paths with someone who they definitely didn't expect or want to see again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nice, early chapter! It's a bit shorter, mainly because this technically would've been added to the rest of chapter 5, but I decided to seperate them.

Tommy is panting, falling down to his knees, struggling to keep the stasis going for any longer. They need to move, but there is nowhere to go. All their exits are blocked off, and Tommy begins to fear this might be the end - there was no way he would've prepared for something like this. You don't _expect_ someone to come and try to kill you, even if you are searching for your friend, who is an eldritch shapeshifter previously used as an experiment subject at the very company you once worked in. Tommy isn't even sure how the hell they were tracked down to a remote, middle of nowhere location like this.

He looks back up with one eye open, deciding to get a look at their attackers before the stasis will inevitably wear off and they would be shot. All of them were nameless faces to him, but they were dressed in clothes reminiscent of Black Mesa, giving him a hint at why they were here. But as he looks through the group, he sees a face that he immediately recognizes, and his heart drops. How was he here...? Didn't they kill him..? Maybe he was misremembering, but he could've sworn that...

Forzen should be dead. Right?

Benrey drops down to Tommy's height just in the moment the time stop ends, saving them from at least one more round of bullets that were supposed to hail down on them, but Tommy fears this won't mean much. He's heaving, completely out of energy- if he had more control over it, like his dad, maybe this could've saved them, but he's afraid he won't be able to do it again any time soon.

Tommy looks Forzen straight in the face. "Y-You..!" he huffs, getting ready for another barrage of bullets to hit them any moment now. Benrey snarls at the soldier - or _former_ soldier, Tommy isn't sure. All that he knows is that the man definitely has it out for them.

Forzen smirks. "So you recognize me, huh?" he responds, gun pointed straight at Tommy's head, his gaze turning to the still quite feral Benrey, who was still growling at him. "Make one move, bud, and he's gonna die." And that threat sits, rooting the shapeshifter in place, looking over at his friend beside him.

Forzen looks back at Tommy. "We're not here for you. We only want the shifter. If you let us take him, we'll let you go on your merry way," he offers, and Tommy feels his eyes pierce him.

The thought of all those horrible experiments the scientists performed on Benrey run through his mind. All of these terrible things they did, simply for the sake of knowledge and science.

"N-No..! I won't let you t-take him back..!" Tommy retorts, trying to push himself up.

Forzen's grin drops.

"Then we'll just take him by force!" He shouts, moving the gun to point at Benrey's face and firing. Tommy, with what little strength he had left, manages to push Benrey out of the way, dropping to the ground with him, but the bullet hits him in the shoulder, causing Tommy to yelp in pain.

This only serves to agitate Benrey immensely, causing him to jump out from underneath Tommy, lunging at Forzen, his shape shifting violently once again, a large maw replacing the small mouth that was in its place before as he roars in anger, dozen more eyes snapping open all over his back, clawing over his enemy's face, barely missing his eyes. More bullets are fired at him, but for that very moment, they don't seem to affect him at all, other than causing him to become even more enraged, charging at who Tommy supposes where people employed by Black Mesa to hunt their 'prime subject' down and bring him back.

Tommy remains on the ground, on one hand to avoid the gun fire, but also to recover some energy - he doesn't think he'd be able to get up right now even if he tried, and he feared he might get in Benrey's way, or worse even, that Benrey had once again lost complete control and wouldn't recognize him if he tried to get involved. He watches as Benrey tears through several of their attackers, killing them without hesitation, and Tommy is painfully reminded of what has happened in the past whenever Benrey became this angry.

However, a few of the mercenaries prove to be tougher than Tommy anticipated, knocking Benrey down, who sprouts a new limb in retaliation, grabbing the one who knocked him down by the throat, clawing at it. Forzen had since gotten back up, helping his teammates out by shooting Benrey in the back, arms and legs. And it's beginning to hurt Benrey - Tommy can see how Benrey starts cringing when several bullets hit him in the left arm. During this moment of distraction, Tommy picks up a pistol from a nearby fallen mercenary, shooting one of the five remaining attackers in the head with his good arm, while Benrey kills another one. Tommy shoots the other two down, leaving only Forzen, and Tommy points his gun straight to Forzen's head as he slowly gets up, ready to pull the trigger.

"I-It's over," Tommy says, trying to steady his position while Benrey turns to the two of them, having shifted back into a more stable form, the extra limb has disappeared and many of the eyes have vanished as well. He approaches the two that stood in a standoff of sorts, pointing guns at each other.

Forzen grins, beginning to laugh.

"You didn't seriously expect us to try and capture someone like him-" - he points at Benrey - "-with this little men? The people at Black Mesa know what he's capable of. They knew some sacrifices would have to be made," he continues, "but it's most certainly not over."

In the blink of an eye, more mercenaries emerge, and Benrey and Tommy now stand back to back, surrounded once again. Gosh, how much funding did they have to hire so many people...? Benrey growls at the men surrounding them. Tommy gulps... this can only end bad.

Benrey lunges forward, intent on attacking these people before they could attack first, but Tommy suddenly hears a loud and intense sizzle that he can immediately identify as that of a stun gun, followed by a thud. He turns his head to see Benrey laying on the floor, in between two men that hold him down with a stun gun of sorts.

Tommy reacts quick, attempting to shoot both of the mercenaries, but before he can manage to kill the second one, he is shot in the arm once again - luckily, not the one he is using right now. Benrey is struggling to try and stand up despite the constant electric shocks being sent through his body at rapid rates to keep him down.

Tommy huffs, feeling the blood run down his arm, pistol still pointed at the other man shocking Benrey. Sudden footsteps catch his attention, looking in the direction they came from.

To his surprise and relief, it is Gordon, Bubby and Dr. Coomer, the former of which begins whacking at the nearby mercenaries with a piece of metal, while the latter two just begin punching any of them in punching range. Bubby manages to tear a gun from one of the mercenaries, shooting him in the head with it, before beginning to shoot at various other mercenaries that begin retaliating finally.

Tommy takes the moment of distraction to shoot the one his pistol was pointed at in the head, causing the shocks to stop, allowing Benrey to get up. Tommy whips around to shoot at Forzen, but he quickly notices that he had disappeared.

Together, the Science Team makes quick work of the remaining attackers, though they don't exactly get away unscathed, as Tommy is painfully reminded with a third shot into his arm. Why did they always aim for the same one?!

Benrey is covered in various burns and gunshot wounds, though it was hard to notice through the shadowy cloak that largely enveloped him. And the others were shot at a few times too, though none of them had it as bad as the other two.

When all mercenaries were dead, Tommy kneels again, huffing, while Benrey got on all fours. Tommy thinks that it might finally be over - at least until he starts feeling the floor underneath them crumbling. Oh, no no no. That was not good - he doesn't think they could get out of the room before the concrete underneath them crumbles away completely, and that fall was bound to hurt, however deep it would be.

Focusing once more, Tommy drops the gun, taking every last bit of his energy, stopping time once again, his eyes flaring up into a bright yellow. He stands up carefully, trying to not break his focus. "Move..! I can't hold this up for long..!" he groans, beginning to walk to the exit Gordon and the others had come from. Dr. Coomer picks up Benrey, throwing him over his shoulder to avoid wasting any time, following quickly behind the others.

Once out of the room, Tommy stops, and the ground they were previously standing on completely crumbles, plummeting into the darkness below, loud clunking sounds echoing when the debris finally hits the ground. The group looks back for a moment.

"What WAS that?!" Gordon asks, walking up to Tommy, who flinches when he tries to move the arm that was shot, falling down on one knee. "Oh god-- nevermind that, let's get out of here before more of them show up!" Gordon says, quieter this time, putting Tommy's arm over his shoulders for support. Tommy was heaving from the exhaustion, simply nodding and giving Gordon a thanking smile.

Despite the fact that it seems like he is out cold by now, Benrey is slowly but surely shifting back to his human form, the many extra eyes disappearing, the shadows slowly fading back to the normal, good old Benrey.

Luckily, it didn't take long for the group to find their way out of the purification plant, and they drove off quickly after.

The group decides to stop by the Coomers' place since it is the closest to the sewage plant, to tend to their wounds.

\----

By the time they arrive, it was past 2 AM. The ones most wounded, Tommy and Benrey, are brought to the couch in the living room, resting under the watchful eye of Bubby, while Gordon and Dr. Coomer grab some bandages and other first aid things.

Whether it should be considered lucky or unlucky, none of the bullets had become stuck in the wounds - though that meant they went through in one go, leaving a larger wound. Bubby helps Tommy bandage his arm to stop the bleeding, while Dr. Coomer and Gordon take care of a still unconscious Benrey, wrapping bandages around the wounds on his arms, legs and back after cleaning them. They're lucky nothing vital was hit, though they were unsure if it would've mattered considering Benrey's form at the time. They ponder if he even had those organs at the time, or if the shape-shifting got rid of them, but Tommy then says that it doesn't really matter right now, and the rest of the group agrees to that statement.

They sit in silence for a while, the adrenaline slowly wearing off.

Gordon is the first to speak up.

"Guys... I'm sorry I got you all dragged into this-" he starts, but Tommy stops him.

"Don't worry a-about it, Mr. Freeman," he responds, "none of us could have predicted w-what would happen there." Bubby is about to interject something, but Dr. Coomer nudges him in the side with his elbow. Tommy continues, but his tone sounds more serious this time. "But... you m-may want to apologize to Benrey when he wakes up. I-I know what happened b-back then was the hardest on you from a-all of us, but you need to remember it w-wasn't Benrey who did it. It was that other e-entity."

Gordon looks down, and nods. "I know," he says, "I... I said some things I shouldn't have. I'll talk to him when he wakes up." He sighs.

It gets silent again, but Dr. Coomer decides to suggest something before it does.

"If none of you need to go home, my friends, how about you just stay at our place for the rest of the night? We can bring you home in the morning," he offers, and Tommy and Gordon are quick to accept.

The group sets up a sleeping place in the living room fairly quickly, with Benrey getting to remain on the pull out sofa along with Tommy, while Gordon decides he's fine with sleeping on the floor on a mattress. Once everything is done and they all have said their goodnights, the group goes to sleep, though Tommy ends up still laying awake for a while - thinking.

  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group has brought Benrey home, but he refuses to talk to anyone, spending most of his time in his room, alone. He is quite surprised when a certain someone comes to chat with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is brought to you by the g-man being a good parent gang
> 
> also yes g-man works as a therapist as a 'cover' of sorts while he's on earth w/ tommy. and hes very good at his job

It has been some time since the incident at the defunct purification plant. Everyone has returned home. Gordon has tried to apologize to Benrey as best he could, and Benrey, though he seemed to be thinking about other things during the conversation, accepted it.

But Benrey has essentially locked himself in his room.

Sure, the door was physically unlocked, but Benrey refused to speak to anyone since the incident.

Gordon, at first, thought that Benrey was greatly upset with him over what happened still - for very understandable reasons.

But when he refused to talk to Bubby, Dr. Coomer and even Tommy, the group was sure it was something beyond Gordon's harsh words.

Tommy suggested that they simply wait a bit - maybe Benrey just needed time to himself. Just a few days, maybe.

But then those few days turned into a whole week.

And then that week became a week and a half.

And that was the point at which Tommy decides that something has to be done. He thinks for a while, unsure what to try anymore - he's tried everything he knows Benrey would usually appreciate, but none of it worked this time, and Tommy is running out of ideas.

But then a new one comes to him... Maybe Benrey needed to talk to someone with an outside perspective on the situation?

He saw how Benrey behaved, and it was incredibly reminiscent of how he acted at Black Mesa after he'd lost control that one time and attacked Bubby, Dr. Coomer and him. And Tommy thinks that he likely feels the exact same right now, considering what happened.

And Tommy knows exactly one person who has an outside perspective - on both of these events - and maybe, just maybe, could help his best friend.

So Tommy gets up to talk with him.

\----

Hate. Hate. Anger... Fear. Fear.

That's what he felt the moment he lost control in front of his friends, beginning to shapeshift violently, eyes tearing open where there should be none, fingers becoming claws, a maw tearing open in place of his mouth. His vision was red, he only saw those who wanted to hurt him around himself.

The faces of the nameless scientists who perform experiments on him day after day. Hurt him, again and again. Upset him just because they were interested in what happened.

Fueled by that rage, he lunged at the closest being he could find. He bites into the arm, refusing to let go, despite the pull from the other. He snarls angrily as he feels a burn in his neck, pulling away, shaking his head.

There's voices around him. They sound vaguely familiar.

He lunges at the person who tries to hold him down, scratching widely to try and get free of their grip. The voices call out again, louder this time, but that doesn't stop him from managing to break free and throw the person off.

There's another in front of him, and he pounces, hovering above them, maw open, showing rows of teeth, all eyes focused only on the target.

"B-Benrey..?" a sob containing his name escapes the figure beneath him. He looks down, and the voice feels familiar.

What was going on...?

The cries from the one underneath his claws snap him back to reality, figure coming into focus.

Tommy.

He was laying there, sobbing. In fear.

His friend.

He saw the blood dripping from a wound on the shoulder.

A wound _he_ caused.

And a gaze behind himself shows what other damage had been done.

Tommy was crying.

Because of him.

Because he hurt him.

He hurt the only ones who cared about him.

\----

His eyes snap open and he sits up. He dreamt of it again. It would never stop haunting him.

And with what happened recently... it only proved true once again. He could only hurt those who cared for him. Every time, his powers would hurt someone, and he didn't know how to stop it, aside from isolating himself from everyone.

He sits for a few minutes, fingers grasping the blanket tightly.

A knock on the door surprises him. Gordon would know it's not locked, so there's no way that was him. And who else would want to see him, right now, in such a state?

The only answer the person on the other side of the door receives that he gives is a quiet hum that confirms they can come in.

It opens, and someone steps in, gently closing the door behind them.

This is the person Benrey would've expected to see the least in a moment like this, and he's not sure how exactly he even feels about it.

It is Tommy's dad. Mr. Coolatta himself.

Benrey doesn't dislike him. No, no, quite the opposite. Similar to Tommy, Bubby and Coomer, he was one of the few people who gave a fuck about how Benrey felt with all that was being done to him. Hell, he was even the person who helped Tommy come up with the plan that would allow Benrey to blend in as just another normal security guard. Even if his methods were quite mysterious to him, considering the fact that Benrey never found Mr. Coolatta to be directly associated with Black Mesa in any way.

Still, he doesn't look up at the other, his gaze remaining focused on the carpet below him.

Tommy's dad takes a seat next to Benrey on the couch. For a few minutes, the two sit in complete silence, but it's not quite as uncomfortable as Benrey expected it to be. He's almost losing him in thoughts about the past once more, when he hears the man beside him speak up.

"Do you blame yourself?"

Benrey blinks, a bit of nervousness rising up in him. He didn't expect the words, and feels confused by the question.

" **..what?** " he asks, unsure what Tommy's father was referring to.

"Well, it's quite common in this situation for a patient to feel a kind of guilt.." the man responds, looking over at Benrey, who stares back at him with a puzzled expression.

" **what situation..?** " Benrey questions, for a moment not sure whatever Mr. Coolatta was talking about.

"The accident."

The... accident? What did he mea--

But the memory quickly comes to him. What happened at Black Mesa. The flash of blood, flesh, anger, fear... and then Tommy, laying below him, crying, afraid of _him_ and what he'd done because he lost control over his powers. Over himself. He hurt his friends...

Benrey stares blankly at Tommy's father, thinking about the past again, thinking about how he was a danger to those around him and how he was bound to somehow hurt them.

"It's very common for people to invent blame or create a causality, when in reality..." Benrey blinks, the voice of Mr. Coolatta ripping him out of his thoughts. "...it was completely out of your control."

He feels even more confused by that statement.

" **..out of my control..?** " he asks, trying to figure out whatever Tommy's dad was referring to. What did he mean out of his control..? Wasn't it his fault that he lost control in the first place..? Wasn't it _his fault_ for hurting his friends..?

"Yes. Think hard about it... why did the accident happen in the first place? What caused you to lose control, Benrey?"

Benrey looks down. He only ever remembers what happened when he lost control. Was there a different reason why he lost control? Wasn't it just his own incompetence..?

"What happened before you lost control over yourself?"

What... what happened before? Something out of his control?

He ponders. He's trying to recall... before the accident. What was then?

After several minutes of reflection, he remembers something.

Before he lost his control... he saw someone holding some vials and syringes. He... he thinks it was Bubby? When he saw the needles, he panicked, thinking someone would experiment on him again in that very moment. He became even more scared when Bubby approached him. He thinks Bubby was trying to calm him down, but Benrey didn't listen, he just kept screaming in fear. And when Dr. Coomer and Tommy came to try and soothe him as well, he thought they were going to try and restrain him, hurt him like all those other nameless scientists that experimented on him day after day.

Benrey looks down upon the realization. He thought he'd lost control because he was afraid of himself... not because he was scared of being experimented on once again.

Mr. Coolatta offers a gentle smile, seeing Benrey's expression. "It wasn't your fault, Benrey. You reacted just like anyone else would've if they were in your shoes at the time. You apologized for what happened, and your friends forgave you... yet you're still here, beating yourself up over it." Little tear droplets had formed at the corners of Benrey's eyes, and he wipes them away, trying to keep himself together. "You had a response to a trauma that is deeply rooted in yourself, even years after it was over - and that's normal. I highly doubt anyone else would've reacted differently in your situation. You apologized to those you hurt because of that reaction and tried to fix what you could, and your friends accepted your apology."

Benrey looks up at Tommy's dad, nodding slightly, biting back sobs.

"I know I can't speak for all of them, but... I know how much Tommy loves you. You're his best friend, and he wants to do whatever he can to help you overcome your worst fears. He wants to help you through your dark days and have fun with you on the bright days. But he worries that he can't help if he doesn't know what's wrong."

Benrey looks down again, pulling his knees up to his chest. The two sit in silence again for a minute or two.

" **...but what about what happened just a week ago..? will they..."** he struggles to try and finish the sentence without crying, but it seems as though Tommy's dad already knew what he wanted to ask.

"I can assure you that they aren't mad at you. They know what happened, and why it happened, and none of them blame you for what happened." Mr. Coolatta looks to where the door is. "If anything, they're worried about you... and I know that Tommy misses you. But he doesn't want to pressure you into anything, especially doing something you don't want to.."

Benrey blinks. They're worried about him..? Even after _he_ lost control again and got them into such danger?

"I know it's hard, but... your friends want to help you. But it's difficult for them if you shut them out and try to keep them away from yourself." Tommy's dad looks back at Benrey. "They want to work through this with you, but they can't if you push them away."

Benrey sniffles. He didn't expect that they would want to help him, even after everything that's happened.

Tommy's dad offers another smile.

"Do you want to come downstairs with me? It's okay if not, you needn't rush yourself."

Benrey wipes his tears away again with the sleeve of his sweater, taking a few deep breaths, before nodding. "... **ill come along,** " he says, even if somewhat reluctantly.

Mr. Coolatta gives an understand nod, reaching out his hand to help Benrey up.

Together, the two walk downstairs, where Gordon and Tommy were having a conversation about something Benrey didn't exactly catch.

When the two turn to gaze at Mr. Coolatta and him, Benrey gives a small smile, trying to hold back any tears that were trying to form.

" **yo.** "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also also i dont kno if anyone who is reading this fic would be interested but i am working on a persona/hl(2)vrai au so if any of you are interested lemme know and maybe ill get around to writing a fic abt it or making an ask blog or something!!


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